This is Modjo, he was born 8 eight years ago. He was growing up in a week same as other dogs did in a month, eerrr, no wait, he was eating in a week same as other dogs ate in a month, yes, that’s better. Ofcourse dog food wasn’t enough, he wanted more, god damn ambitious dog, shoes, pieces of furniture, toilet paper, tissues. After a research period i came to the conclusion that he has 2 stomachs, one in the usual place and one instead of his brain. It’s the only plausibile explanation i could find. Another reason that got me to this discovery is that the mut doesn’t know any basic command. Ok, maybe just one “Eat!”.
His favourite way to piss me off is when he jumps in my warm, fluffy bed. He knows he’s not supposed to do that and especially for that reason he keeps doing it. “Modjo, get out of there!”. My words enters his left ear and come out through his right one, not leaving any marks. I’m slowly approaching him “common, you cute little boy, you know you’re not allowed here” … Now if you listen carefully, there’s a threatening barking in the background. “God damn stupid dog”, there’s me going after the secret weapon, the ultimate distraction device, a tennis ball which always helps me in difficult situations like this.
Enough fooling around, it’s time for the daily walk. Sounds pretty easy and fun eh? Well, you’ve never been more wrong! Although when he sees me with his leash, he starts jumping, barking, drooling, singing “happy happy joy joy”. Despite these happy gestures, somebody else has to put his leash on, because he’ll bite my fingers off if i try to do it.
Now it’s time to go out in the jungle. A dangerous place of stray dogs, ferocious cats and crazy people who don’t like animals. I transform myself in a radar, watching with heart racing to see if any stray dogs are near by. Modjo’s not friendly at all, he growls and barks at them but if i let him go, he suddenly transforms in the biggest coward i’ve ever seen. There’s always the imminent danger of a fight and ofcourse my dog will be the victim, and trust me, it’s the last thing i want.
Oh, i almost forgot the ferocious cats who are his biggest enemies. He fears them the most, he doesn’t even try to intimidate them, it’s a lost battle right from the start. Outside, in the jungle, i am the keeper of this small-sized Cerberus.
Finally we’re at home, in his kingdom, where no such dangers dare to exist. After every walk he has to be washed, no no wait, let me finish, he loves taking a bath. Incredibile right? There’s nothing much than being shampooed, than water running on his little paws, than his special towel drying the excess water out of his shiny fur. Wait, you don’t think i did all of that do you? I can’t wash him either, see leish situation if you forgot why.
This is only a small part of what happens every day. A very small part.
Mojo is the best dog ever!